Vinyl Vault Entry #19: Valentine's Day Special with 'Lessons on Love' and 'A Night with Nicole'2/14/2026 Written by Parisa  The oddities Vinyl Vault series continues, this time with two romance-themed records for Valentine's Day! Join us as we uncover very unhelpful but entertaining tips from two early 1960's spoken word records. Hello all you lovers and loners out there! Welcome to a special Valentine’s Day edition of the Vinyl Vault ♥ I’m continuing on with my oddity record series, and for this installment, I picked out two romance-related albums from my stash to review (neither of which I had listened to before writing this blog). While these releases may not swoop you off your feet with their musicality, they’ll certainly have you blushing with their peculiar charm!! Mwah! Lessons in Love by Helen Gurley Brown Back in the late 1900s, there was a show called Sex in the City in which a fabuloso woman named Carrie Bradshaw would drink martinis, eat many expensive pointy shoes, and seek out the carnal pleasures of New York’s most exotic jabronis. This show caused a massive shift in the horny white woman zeitgeist where upper middle class ladies would follow suit of Bradshaw’s autonomous freedom and kinda shitty, self-serving personality. Who do we have to thank for such a pop culture phenomenon?! Well thanks to this record and my subsequent research, I’ve learned about the life and legacy of a one Helen Gurley Brown… Helen Gurley Brown, born in 1922 in Green Forest, Alabama, was an author and publisher. Her career first took off with her 1962 book Sex and the Single Girl, a massively controversial bestseller that bluntly and unabashedly gave women advice on how to embrace their sexuality. Three years later, she became the editor-in-chief at Cosmopolitan and revamped the publication from being a women’s magazine written by men to a woman-run publication. She’s been called “a pioneer in Prada”, “a revolutionary in stilettos”, and as a front runner of second wave feminism. Anyone who’s ever read a Cosmo article or even peered at the headlines while sitting in a dentist’s office knows, however, that it’s really not all that simple. While she did empower women to take pride in their sexuality and seek equality in the workplace, many other feminists note that her work could be considered equally retrogressive, “obscene and horrible”, and steeped in misogyny and body image problems. I put on this record not knowing anything about it, and I found it to be one of the most fascinating records I’ve heard in awhile. It was released in 1962, just following Brown’s Sex and the Single Girl book release. She had been approached by nightclub tycoon and record label owner Gene Norman to do a recorded version of her book on vinyl (specifically for “people who don’t like to read”), but Warner Brothers owned the rights to her work because they were working on a movie based on the novel. She wrote up a new script as a sequel of sorts, things she wanted to say in the book but didn’t get to, and thus the record was born.  I kinda miss the days of record covers being less aesthetically pleasing and ridiculously text heavy I genuinely thought this record was satirical at first, but the more I listened the more I realized that Helen is offering genuine advice. It’s entertaining in the same way Sex and the City is entertaining (and with all my shit talking aside, yes I do secretly enjoy that show). It’s a product of its time. It has valuable moments, many forward-thinking theories for the early ‘60s, and serves as a snapshot during feminist history evolution…but ultimately, it’s so steeped in batshit insane quips that you’ll sit here listening to this jaw-dropped and laughing in utter shock and amusement. That being said, I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT recommend that you listen to this in earnest looking for “lessons in love”, but as a unique oddity with a long-lasting legacy, for better or worse. The record is presented in two parts. Side 1 is catered for male listeners with How To Love a Girl and vice versa for Side 2. You can see from the chapter list titles and descriptions (pictured below) that she is quite witty and has a cheeky sense of humor. Upon listening to it, though, you’ll come to find that it’s not all that sarcastic and is still meant to be taken seriously.
Here are some notes I jotted down while listening: SIDE 1: HOW TO LOVE A GIRL
She ends by emphasizing personality is important over all else. “Politeness is sexiness, and comedy is a better aphrodisiac than brandy! Most women would prefer to be laughed their way to bed than kissed there.” (That’s like….soooo totally a Carrie thing to say omggggggggglolololololololdikjfalk)
SIDE TWO: HOW TO LOVE A MAN
So how does a “non-glamorous” girl compete? Well first thing’s first, you should AT LEAST be doing the obvious of drenching cotton in perfume and sticking it in your bra. She then goes on to argue that plain and flat-chested girls are actually the most sexy because “they have the want more than anything.” Woooooooooooooof. I was really rooting for Plain Girl Power at first but it ended up being a pretty abysmal philosophy!
“It’s nice to be here!” “Isn’t this the loveliest?” “Do you like me??” Welp, I guess I finally got the wholesome moment on this record I’d been hoping for!
NO BLUE JEANS!!!! Yes, of all things mentioned on this record - affairs, love triangles, work relationships - the actual most grave mistake one can do in the name of love is wear a heinous set of blue jeans. A wonderful final takeaway from this 1960s misogynistic-feminist journey. Well, thank you for the tips Ms. Brown. I can absolutely respect your work and recognize the revolutionary role you played in your lifetime. That being said, I think I will enjoy this Valentine’s Day sitting around in my blue jeans and reclaiming Plain Girl Power on my own terms, thank you very much!! A Night with Nicole by Nicole Bergere |
Categories
All
Blog Archives
February 2026
|
RSS Feed