Vinyl Vault Entry #18: Vincent Price Double Feature Spooktacular

Written by Parisa

In honor of spooky season, we bring you a double header Vinyl Vault featuring the grandmaster of all things horror...Vincent Price! Listen along as we learn about the spellbinding history of witchcraft in the 1969 LP 'An Adventure In Demonology', and cook up some devilish delights from the 1977 'Vincent Price International Cooking Course'.  And as an added treat, we’re also diggin' into a rare bluegrass record from the mysterious Upper Hamilton Grave Diggers' Undertaking Bluegrass. Readers beware...MUwhAHhahHA!

​Welcome, fellow ghouls, to a spooky rendition of the Vinyl Vault! Dust off your keys, brush off the cobwebs, and slowly enter the vinyl crypt…for you shall find two records so gruesome that you shall….er…

Okay I’m not a good horror narrator, but you know who is? Why the very focus of this month’s Vinyl Vault, of course -- the one and only master of ceremonies, Vincent Price! I recently acquired these two records from the shop where I work, and was super stoked to grab these as I love spoken word albums and have never owned any of Price’s work on vinyl before. 

I am not an audiophile by any means, in fact if you come up to me at work and start talking about your audiophile setup, I’ll tune you out immediately and sink my eyeballs into the deepest sockets of my skull and roll them in the most immense way fashionable (it’s an acquired record store clerk skill I’ve mastered with years of practice). That being said, hearing Vincent Price’s tremendous voice on vinyl booming through your speakers is really how this deserves to be heard. Lossless audio terror, hell yeah!! I also love listening to spoken word pieces or radio dramas on physical media. The ritual of putting on the record and sitting near your speakers without distraction creates an attentive listening experience and allows your imagination to run amok. And what better way to get in the Halloween spirit than turning off the lights, closing your eyes, and letting Vincent Price’s voice lead your mind to the hallowed edges of the universe?! Can’t beat it. With a vast discography of about 85 record releases, there’s a lot of great material to choose from, but I’m glad I got my filthy mitts on at least these two.

So without further adieu, let’s get into it. This first record is called...

​Witchcraft - Magic (An Adventure In Demonology)

"Do you believe in witches and magic? [Chuckles] I hope so, because it can be unwise not to. Do you believe in life after death? Do you believe in luck? Do you believe in premonitions—being somewhere where you know you’ve been before, although you know you’ve never been there? Do you believe in dreams and the unseen forces of astrology? Do you believe that there is order and genius in the hundred thousand million galaxies similar to our own? Do you believe that the life of our bodies is the beginning and end, or do you believe in reincarnation? Perhaps in heaven and in hell? Do you believe in prophecy and poltergeists? Hmh? Do you?"
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Originally released in 1969, this double album complete with a spell booklet [pictured above] shares the ghastly and grim history of witchcraft throughout history. I had erroneously assumed when buying this record that it would be spooky short stories or a radio drama; instead it’s more of an informational history lesson scattered with little dramatized skits and occasional eerie synth music. In true Price fashion, however, he narrates with such theatric gravitas that it manages to feel less like a lecture and more like a crypt keeper sharing forbidden knowledge. Truly a master storyteller that is and forever will be unparalleled (but Ira Glass if ur reading this, dont get it twisted i love u too). 

The album covers the history of witchcraft from the Bible, the Middle Ages, the Spanish Inquisition and Nazi Germany. I must admit that I wasn’t sure how much of this record was based on true historical evidence, but upon doing some research it all does, in fact, check out. For example, did you know there was a coven of English Wiccan witches that acted as an antifascist movement during World War II? And that Hitler was so terrified of them that he brought on an astrologer to his ranks in order to battle their supernatural powers? Why I didn’t learn about badass antifascist Nazi-hexing witches in school is absolutely beyond me. There’s also something very obvious to be reiterated here about how witches have been a force of good throughout the ages, even in the most tumultuous, war-ridden times. Price clearly advocates for this misunderstood supernatural practice, and we would be doing him and ourselves a great favor by supporting our local covens. 

This album got its first ever reissue last year from Real Gone Music, and according to their website:

The mysterious writer of the script, one Terry d’Oberoff, has only one other credit to his name: as the “mascot” of an early ‘70s band called…wait for it…Black Magic.

I did find another internet source saying that much of what is read is taken from the Book of Shadows, an instructional and religious Wicca text. Whether Terry was an immortal Wicca soul who has brought forth the consciousness of spellcasters sourced through his infinite lifetimes, or just an intern who was working at Capitol Records that got thrown a script writing gig, we shall never know…*insert ominous music here*

Price’s instrumental voice grows more commanding as he delivers carefully crafted spells of the dark arts. The track list gives an insight into these friiiiightful forays: 

Side One
1.        Prologue/The Tale of Master Seth
2.        Hitler and Witchcraft/Witchcraft in History
3.        Women as Witches/Witch Burning
4.        Witch Tortures
 
Side Two
1.        Witch Tortures (Cont.)/The World of Spirits and Demons
2.        Preparation for Magic/Instruments of Magic
3.        How to Invoke Spirits, Demons, Unseen Forces/The Magic Bloodstone
4.        The Witches Cauldron/How to Communicate with the Spirits
 
Side Three
1.        How to Communicate with the Spirits (cont.)/Gerald Yorke and Necromancy
2.        How to Make a Pact with the Devil/How to Become a Witch
3.        Curses, Spells, Charms
 
Side Four
1.        Curses, Spells, Charms (Cont.)/Potions
2.        The Hand of Glory/The Witches Sabbat
3.        Witchcraft Today/Epilogue


All in all, a wonderful record that entertains and educates, all while giving you the drama and theatrics that can only be done by Vincent Price! You can listen to it here:

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Dining At Versailles

When I bought this record, I didn’t look past the first few words: Vincent Price Cooking Course. I once again made an incorrect assumption about this record that it was going to be a parody cannibalistic instructional cooking record of sorts. What I didn’t know is that Vincent Price was a gourmet cook, authored several cookbooks with his wife, and even had a cooking show in 1971 called Cooking Price-Wise. Here he is promoting his cookbooks on the Johnny Carson show where he poaches a fish in dishwater:

This rare 1977 record is actually a part of an International Cooking Course series, the other titled Bounty of Paradise, Classical Spanish Cuisine, Cuisina Italiana, Delights from the Sultan's Pantry, Dinner at the Casbah, Dining at Versailles, Exotic Delights from the Far East, Food of the Gods, Foods from the Austro-Hungarian Empire, La Cocina Mejicana, The Bard's Board, and The Wok. This series, along with an audio wine course, were only pressed onto vinyl once in 1977. Within the last year, they’ve all been digitized on the Vincent Price Legacy channel:

I will say, I am a devout vegan and have literally zero interest in trying any of these recipes, and I’m generally pretty revolted by people talking about meat or shoving their arms up a dead bird carcass and what have you. That being said, this album is still a keeper for me because Price could read a phonebook and I’d still listen to it. Anywho, please enjoy this slideshow of photos of him in the kitchen being an absolute ham:
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I also found this video while searching for the above audio that seems to be more what I thought this record was going to be. Here is Vincent Price reading a recipe for how to cook a small child:
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As someone in the YouTube comments points out, it was likely a recipe for chili and replaced “chili” with “child”. Gruesome!! 
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​BONUS!!

Before I end off this spooky season edition of this month’s Vinyl Vault, I wanted to quickly share one more newly acquired record in my collection that is not Vincent Price related but still fits the bill. Check out this oddball folk record from the Upper Hamilton Grave Diggers called Undertaking Bluegrass:
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How amazing is that font??

They were a bluegrass ensemble from Pennsylvania that consisted of a banjo and mandolin player, a guitarist, a washtub bassist and a dobro shredder. They only released this one album in 1964 and I can’t find any information on them aside from what I previously mentioned and what’s on the back jacket (which is mostly about their instrumental background), but the graveyard group picture of them was enough for me to have this in the collection. And it seems to be a somewhat uncommon and sought after record among freaky ass folk people. 

The tracklist and lyrical themes definitely keep in theme of their macabre name:


A1        Cripple Creek
A2        Lonely Tombs
A3        I Am A Pilgrim
A4        Bye, Bye Blues
A5        Bodies On Earth
A6        Keep Them Cold, Icy Fingers Off Of Me
B1        Paul And Silas
B2        The Long Black Veil
B3        Jesu, Joy Of Man's Desiring
B4        Little Annie
B5        Little Sparrow

There aren’t any digitized versions of this album for me to share here (although I’m planning on doing so for future installments of the Vinyl Vault once I get the equipment to do so!), but musically it’s pretty straightforward bluegrass. I do love the contrast of their folksy sound with their corpse worshipping elements. Folk and bluegrass are of course no stranger to morbid elements (in fact **shameless plug** you can read about some of my favorite murder ballads in my most recent Play It By Ear post!), and this one really isn’t as gruesome as the name and cover would have you think, but it’s a fun listen regardless. 

I do love these one-off oddities with little background info, really makes you wonder. How was this album received back in ‘64? Were any of them actually grave diggers? I guess we’ll just keep wondering, pondering the great mysteries from beyond…the VINYL VAULT…*ominous music slowly fades me out as I dissipate into 10000 bats in the sky*

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Muwahahaha!
Stay tuned for some more Vinyl Vault oddities. I have big ideas brewing for taking this series to the next level, and I can’t wait to share it with you! 

Thanks for reading // love you lots // Happy Halloween!!
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